It was November, 2013. My father called my youngest daughter (by that time), who was turning 4, to wish a happy birthday. “That’s so cool, Julie! You’re getting older!”. She instantly started crying. Until now, growing old isn’t a good idea for her. “Being an adult is too boring!”, she claims. Who could blame her? Adult life is full of responsibilities, duties and challenges and apparently little reward.
The other day, we asked Julie if she would like to live in Neverland, like Peter Pan, and she loved the idea! Wouldn’t we all? Growing means transformation, which brings lots of changes and, often times, discomfort. It seems people are trying to push maturity forward in order to avoid it as long as they can.
It’s taking longer for our children, teens and even adults to take serious responsibilities in life. We have achieved a lot regarding to human rights, but with it, we are over protecting our kids, forgetting that pain and challenge brings healthy growth.
As parents, we shouldn’t endorse Neverland. On the contrary, we should reinforce the notion that growth is good and necessary, without sacrificing a wholesome and well lived childhood. A few weeks ago, I was with my 2 year old in a playground. As she climbed the stairs, she asked me to go with her.
I said she should go by herself and that I was too big for the slide. (I thanked God that we were by ourselves and we didn’t have to witness another clumsy parent climb the playset.) The thing is that we shouldn’t be afraid of showing our kids what it is to be an adult. They need to know that it’s hard and even painful sometimes, but also rewarding and beautiful.
We need to be true to ourselves and to them, pointing to the truth that each age and period in life brings adventures, challenges, losses and rewards. What makes the whole difference is our own attitude towards the many seasons we go through. We need to be mature enough to properly assimilate the deceptions and enjoy happiness.
