As an immigrant living in the United States I never cease to learn English in a way I never thought I would. I considered myself fluent in this language, since I can engage in any conversation, on pretty much any subject. But, one thing I started realizing right after I moved and started having a “real life” here, not as a tourist, but just as a ordinary person living the ordinary life.
Many things got a real different perception and perspective to me. Ways I always thought words and sentences would mean gained such a deeper understanding. It was hard. It is still.
I have seen myself thinking that I was completely aware of everything people were saying, since I knew what their words were. However, I would never imagine in many occasions I did not get what they really meant.
One Word for too many things
I had a problem with my car. So, I drove to one of the many auto parts in my town. Getting there, I realized that I had no knowledge of car mechanics vocabulary. I knew every word, but I had no clue a lot of them would be applied to what they were, and the way they were.
“Sir, you have a bad coil”.
I just said: “OK”. Because this is what you say when you do not understand what they said fully. A coil can be a million things. Literally. Just Google it. To me, coil mainly is a roll of something, in my case, a steel coil, which is the primary material used in what I do, which is steel buildings.
Now, how did this word end up at a car engine as one os its parts? Guess what? There I was searching for something that would look like the coil I am familiar with, but in such a small version. Of course, it had nothing to do with what I was expecting it to be.
This is one of the things I am constantly learning. Words in English can be applied to a lot of different things.
Briefly, let me give another example. Slab. Again, I deal with construction and many years ago when I went to South Africa for a course I learned this word as being the foundation of a house or a building. But not. A few months ago talking to a field installer, he said the rough opening of a door was wrong because it was exactly the same size as the slab.
I am like “this dude is really under something heavy… The guy is saying the door opening is the same size of a 15,000 sqft building?”. Wrong again. There is this thing called door slab, which is the door itself, which is what I learned to be called door many years ago, which, which, which… which.
I wonder: what else can be a slab? Chocolate bar? Maybe.
You
Don’t get it personal. The you may not be the you, like the you yourself. Let me explain. At least I will try.
You in English can be singular or plural and you get it from the context, right? Yes, but not so. People use you as a generic way of referencing something to somebody, but not necessarily you that is listening. Example:
“Leo, then what you do is make things work the way they were supposed to be.”
The statement above, out of context, may be clear to you. But on a given occasion, it was not to me. There is this hypothetical you. When hearing similar sentences I was feeling frustrated because I had nothing to do with whatever that was!
How were I supposed to worry about or do something that was not even on my radar? I told you. Hard to explain. But remember: The You may not be you yourself, but the Hypothetical You. Don’t get it personal. It is not. Believe me.
I Love You
I don’t say I love you. At least not in the frequency way people here in Texas do. Let me explain. I come from Brazil. We typically don’t say I Love You on a regular basis (like, every 4 sentences). We show. We hug, kiss, hug again, touch each other, in this almost weird way when I think about it more and more.
But we don’t say I Love You when we are really saying good bye, especially to a person who is not real intimate to you. It is a process, an act of bravery, a step by step thing process that culminates in “Eu te amo”. I am serious. If you say that to somebody in Brazil, depending on the day, light and music background, people will cry (deeply). For real.
So, here I am just trying to plug into some new friendships and E.V.E.R.Y time people are saying this sentence and I am like thinking like… “Well… I don’t… because… I guess… I don’t know you really!”. I am more used to it now, but come on! How can you say you love someone like that? I still don’t get it.
But guess what. After a few months I did the same thing. That was shocking to me. Minute of silence. Wondered “I never said I Love You to any of my best friends” and I just did it to a new friend. Forgive me old friends. You are still in my heart and you know that.
This will always be a learning journey. I will try to be more disciplined in writing. As we say here in Texas…
Love y’all.
